home.

Home.  for the last year, this is the thing I have longed for most.

On March 9th, 2016, devastating flood waters swept across our town and left many without their homes, businesses, and churches.  I was eight months pregnant with our first baby when water began seeping into our home underneath the baseboards.  within thirty minutes, there was a foot of water in our home.  we stood there hopelessly as we watched the life we had built in our tiny white house nearly fall apart.  I have never felt such despair.  it was a moment I will never forget.

We left our home that day with only what we could carry.  from the street, I wept as I watched our house fill with water, covering all of our belongings + our most treasured possessions.  that day, we said goodbye forever to our tiny white house.  this was the home I found driving around one day, signed the lease the next day, and sat empty for five months until our wedding.  this was the home my husband carried me across the threshold the night of our wedding.  this was the home we learned so much about love and loss and marriage and forgiveness and life.  this is the home we planned to bring our baby home to the very next month.  but in a moment, everything changed.

The weeks that followed were a blur, marked with tears, disbelief, fear, exhaustion.  we moved in with my parents indefinitely.  I was so grateful they took us in, but still heartbroken about the loss of our home.  people told me how nice it would be to have all the help once the baby arrived, but truthfully, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about stepping into parenthood with an audience.  I remember crying most of the month of March and a lot of the month of April.  in addition to the flood uprooting us and the pregnancy hormones and preparing for a baby and all the changes that would take place upon the baby’s arrival, the job I had loved and held for five years was changing.  for the first time in four summers, I wouldn’t spend my days with the children I nannied.  and in the fall, Andy would begin kindergarten so they wouldn’t need me at all. it was just a lot at once.  I know I was an absolute pleasure to be around during those weeks.

"it's just stuff."  I heard this more than once.  and it's true, it is just stuff.  it's only temporary.  in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter.  but let me tell you this: I love my stuff.  probably a little too much.  days after the flood, I was going through what had been salvaged and I came across a damp index card.  it read: "if you're identified by what you have, who are you when you lose it all?"  my Sunday school teachers in middle school had asked that question and I held onto it all these years.  I wept as I read it, never having understood the gravity of it and that I would be in a place where I'd have to ask myself this.

Some mentioned that the flood was a "blessing," or would turn out to be.  this was laughable to me in those first few days, even months.  however, I was overwhelmed by how we were blessed through this trial.  men in boats and trucks helped my family and others to salvage what we could.  people helped with the flood relief.  people gave to us.  I saw with my own eyes the church being the church.  I saw people we knew + loved and some who barely knew us before the flood love us in a way that only the Father can. 

and because of the flood, I was given one of the sweetest seasons in time with my family.  I learned so much about home this year, and how it doesn't matter so much where you are, but who you're with. and people were right—all that help with the baby was nice.

the next month, we welcomed our son into the world.  the days following that were filled with joy, tears, and hope.  in a time of darkness, the Lord so sweetly showed me how much He loves me, through His constant + timely provision and in the way He trades beauty for our ashes.  every time I held our baby or saw him smile, I felt as if the Lord was saying to me, "I know a lot has happened, but here's this really great thing I made just for you."  His goodness is overwhelming.

life got a lot sweeter after the baby arrived.  we adjusted to a new normal.  we began saving as much as we could in hopes of buying a home.  and then we waited.  and waited.  and waited.  we waited for a credit score.  we waited for a house. but not just any house.  the right house.  our house.  we found a few we liked.  I could have seen us living in any of them.  they all had potential and would have been fun to fix up and call home, but the timing just wasn’t right.

in October, seven months after the flood, we found it.  I had driven past it hundreds of times and always thought it was beautiful.  in fact, the afternoon we went to look at it with our incredible realtor, I passed by it earlier that day not knowing it was for sale and thought, “wow.  now that’s my dream house.” I never imagined it would be mine.  two months later, we signed the papers.  and now it’s ours.

I have seen firsthand how the Lord provides.  I’ve seen this throughout my entire life, from childhood to adulthood.  He was always faithful to provide great friends in all the places we lived growing up and He has been our joy + provision in the unknown.  I know He will provide, though I struggle at times with unbelief.  but one of my favorite parts of this story is not just what He provided, but how He provided.  not just a house, but a home.  a home that was better than I ever could have dreamed of.  a home that was immeasurably more. 

we've spent the last three months renovating this home.  it has been an adventure, to say the least.  I'm sure my husband would say that's putting it nicely.  it wasn't a major fixer upper, it just needed a little love... and some fresh paint, new flooring, bathroom updates, de-popcorned ceilings, a revamped staircase, and all new light fixtures + hardware throughout. but that's it really.

it was certainly a challenge.  that needs to be said.  but it was fun, too.  of course, fixing up a house has always been a dream of mine.  so while it's not for everyone, this kind of thing is right up my alley.

we are so grateful and humbled and I can't wait to share more about this adventure and our renovation story on the blog!

"now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! amen."
Ephesians 3:20-21

"and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though He is not far from any one of us."
Acts 17:26-27

"for every house is built by someone, but the builder of all things is God."
Hebrews 3:4

a {mini} fall tour.

Decorating for holidays, and decorating just because, looks a little different than it used to, as we have been living with family since the flooding of our home.  I really and truly have loved almost every minute of it, but it has certainly been challenging, at times, for all my "roommates."

One of the wonderful things about being back at home is that my sweet mother has given me complete "creative control."  in other words, I am free to style, decorate, rearrange, etc. the way I would in my own home.  this woman is so gracious to do this because, you know, it's not even my house!  but to be completely candid, I think she has probably enjoyed it a little, because who doesn't want a live-in decorator?

that said, it is interesting to decorate a different house in these new seasons.  I never dreamed that last fall and Christmas would be my last time to decorate for the holidays at the tiny white house.  however, at my parents', I have a great canvas to work with.  for instance, they have a mantle!  I know, I know—what a luxury, right?  but this is something we didn't have in our first home, so it's fun to create something centered around this.

But enough with all the words! without further ado, I'd like to share the 2016 {mini} fall tour with you!

When I began to envision my fall decor, I knew I wanted to incorporate this oversized frame. I actually acquired this sometime earlier in the year. one afternoon, I was driving the little girl I nanny to her voice lesson. the church where her lessons took place was located near Good Will; so some days, if time allowed, we would stop by to see if they had any treasures for us. but, that's actually not where this came from. it was on the way to Good Will that I spotted a dumpster behind a store and what looked like a dresser sitting near it. so we took a detour and that's where I happened upon this piece! the dresser was beyond repair, but this frame was on the ground behind it. it used to frame a mirror, but I suppose the dresser + mirror fell and cracked so the store threw it out. obviously, they didn't realize they could paint it, staple some toile fabric in it, and place it on their mantle for fall decor, but that's neither here nor there.

In the spring, we hung a boxwood wreath in the frame.  but when our baby arrived, that wreath moved to the nursery.  so the frame sat empty for some months, and then September rolled around.  I got the idea to frame some fabric and then remembered I had a couple yards of toile fabric I'd bought from Hobby Lobby to recover some pillows.  it had been sitting under our bed, folded up, in the very plastic bag it left the store in last fall, waiting for its time to shine.  with some assistance from my mother, we stretched + stapled this fabric in the frame.  it's a little simple, maybe even understated; but, to me, it definitely shines.  this is one of my favorite projects to date.  and the best part is it cost less than $10 to make!

As I've mentioned before, silver is one of my favorite things to feature in my decor.  this antique silver ice bucket was a gift from my husband last Christmas.  clearly, he knows the way to my heart.  in the spring + summer, it was filled with hydrangeas.  for the fall season, it holds stems of cotton.

The ice bucket sits upon my great grandfather's Bible.  my mother has several Bibles that have been in our family for generations, and I'm jealous and I want them.  isn't that ironic?  to covet someone else's vintage Bible.  she says I can't have them [yet, anyway]; but since we're roommates, I am free to use them in my/our decor.

Of course, pumpkins are a staple when it comes to fall decor, and there's just something about white ones.  the oversized blue pitcher is a favorite of mine and adds a little color to this mostly neutral scene.

A wire basket filled with cozy blankets is a simple, yet decorative way to create storage and warmth—quite literally.

In the 2015 {mini} fall tour, I mention that simply placing pumpkins throughout your home adds a little touch of fall without much effort.  this lovely vignette is on the shelves of the hutch in the kitchen.  you already know I love blue + white dishes and greenery, throw in a pumpkin and I'm sold.  and would you look at that?  another old Bible I covet.

As pleased as I was with the way the mantle turned out, I couldn't help but feel as if the fall decor wasn't complete.  so, I decided to set the little drop-leaf table in the kitchen.  I used my favorite blue + white dishes, fresh apples + berries, and a few nuts I found in the backyard. 

I was excited to use these chargers I scored at Home Goods when we were visiting family in Texas last Christmas.  I found them hidden under some bowls on a bottom shelf and just had to have them.  I did feel a little bad, though, because I'm pretty sure someone hid them there with the intention of coming back for them.  but you know, finders keepers, or whatever.

the mismatched flatware is part of my collection that I've gathered along the way, from antique stores to garage sales and junk shops.  the antique linen napkins were another Christmas gift from my husband.  cloth napkins are another one of my favorite things to collect.

It's not much; but it's warm and inviting, and that's enough for me.

thanks for looking!  what do you think?  how do you decorate for fall?

life begins all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.
-F. Scott Fitzgerald

I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.
-Anne of Green Gables

diy crib mobile.

Recently on the blog, I shared a little about our baby's nursery.  one of the things specially created for his room was the crib mobile.  today, I want to share a tutorial with you on how to create this crib mobile.

materials needed:

  • embroidery hoop
  • fishing line
  • x-acto knife + scissors
  • tissue paper
  • embroidery needle(s)
  • sewing thread
  • book of your choice
  • paper + pencil
  • drill with a 1/16 bit

First, I read through Robin Hood looking for the best parts. you know what I mean... the meaningful parts with good words and strong imagery. the parts with the most adventure and love and excitement. this step is important because our baby will be able to read from the time he exits the womb, so I want him to have the best parts of the story floating over his sweet, little head. okay, so no. this step was more for myself. I wanted favorite parts of the story like... when Robin Hood + Little John meet, when he's reintroduced to Maid Marian, when he shoots his last arrow... you get the idea. the good stuff.

In case you haven't noticed from reading my blog, or if you know me personally, I'm a word girl.  my mother has always described me as wordy.  if I ever tell you a story or something that happened in a book or show, be prepared to stay awhile.  I really don't mean to be.  but there's just so many good words out there and I like a lot of them and I use a lot of them to say the things I say.

So, I skimmed through Robin Hood and picked out my favorite parts and marked them.  these would be our clouds.  next, I took the x-acto knife and begin to cut these pages out.

My little sister helped me with this project and she's a real artist.  we decided it would be best for aesthetics + symmetry + balance to have two small clouds and two large clouds. she sketched a stencil for our small cloud and I did one for the larger clouds.  we did this with a pencil and notebook paper and sketched until we came up with a cloud shape we liked.

then, I took the clouds and placed them on the page, over the words I wanted to be seen.  because I'm so wordy, this part was a little sad + hard because I couldn't fit the entire quotation as these are little bitty clouds.  I would've loved to have had the full excerpts I had chosen, but that just wasn't doable.  [one way to make this work would be to mat + frame the excerpts, rather than cutting them into the shape of a cloud.  that's one of my favorite, super easy crafts that makes for beautiful, yet different framed art.  I have a few of these type of framed pieces in my home, ranging from hymns to poetry to stories.]

I traced my little clouds over the book pages and then cut them out with scissors.  one thing to keep in mind when tracing the clouds is this: after you trace your cloud, you'll need to flip your cloud stencil over to trace your next cloud, so that it will match up when it's stitched together.  this is one of the easier parts of this project.

After the clouds are all cut out, it's time to sew!  we took little pieces of tissue paper, crumpled them up, and flattened them back out.  this is what we stuffed our little clouds with.  I wanted them to have some volume and this was the best I could come up with for stuffing.  next, get out your needle and thread and get ready for the fun part!  and by fun, I mean most tedious, time-consuming part.  once you thread your needle, start stitching your clouds together.  I would sew the cloud about halfway around and then begin stuffing it with bits of tissue paper.  this part really doesn't take too long, it just takes the most attention.

I took the inner hoop of the embroidery hoop [the one without the hardware], white-washed it, let it dry, and then drilled holes.  actually, I let my husband do that step.  I never want him to feel left out of my projects, so I try to always find something for him to do to be a part.  that last line should actually read: I always need help with at least one part of my projects, so I beg him to help me.

he took his handy drill and used a 1/16th drill bit and drilled four holes, one across from the other, evenly around.  then, I took two pieces of fishing line, probably about two feet in length and inserted them into the holes on the embroidery hoop.  they crossed over each other and I gathered the four strands together and tied a knot.  [this sounds confusing, but there are photos below that will make this step more clear]  after this, I cut a shorter piece of fishing line, threaded that through the embroidery needle and into the top of the cloud, and tied a knot.  I took this piece of fishing line sewn onto my cloud and threaded that through the hole on the embroidery hoop and tied a knot [several times so it wouldn't slip through].  I repeated this step until all four clouds were fastened to the hoop.  I didn't measure the exact length of fishing line the clouds would hang from.  I eyeballed it and purposely made them to hang at different lengths.  I did intentionally hang the two larger clouds across from each other on the hoop and the smaller across from each other to create balance + symmetry.

my husband placed a screw hook in the ceiling, and after cutting one more piece of fishing line about two feet long, I looped it under the knot that held the four strands together.  then we hung it from the ceiling.

I wrote this post just weeks before our baby arrived.  he's here now!  even though he's not sleeping in his crib yet, he took a little nap in it one day and I couldn't resist snapping a photo of him under his sweet little mobile.

thanks for reading + hope you enjoyed!